Yes...and he does not even see HOW I can be so shattered. He does not see this as the massive betrayal that it is, saying HIS doctor friends and all "the experts" said it was safe so I'm wrong, and I'm not a "science person", and therefore he did not have to listen to me. I can't get him to grasp that he HAD to listen bc I have been with him for 30 yrs, I am the wonderful mother of his two teenage boys, and that MY BELIEFS, concerns and values MATTER. He clearly wanted out before all this but never said anything or did anything about it. He has almost no ability to talk about how he really feels. And NO ONE we know agrees with me. NO ONE. They ALL drank the Kool Aide. Everyone in our town, our church, our circles, our families. EVERYONE. I have since found some people who agree with me, but he knows none of them. And all my friends side with him. He will not entertain the thought that I could be right. And he says bc I made his life so miserable trying to warn him and get him not to comply, I am disrespectful and so he left. He is SOO afraid of being judged "difficult" by his employer that he would NEVER consider pushing back on a mandate from them to keep his job. NEVER. I could have told you that 10 years ago. He knows he and our sons do not NEED this thing, he just does not want to be fired, cancelled, or have our kids miss out on any opportunities. TO THIS DAY he does not know what is going on and it has caused a MASSIVE rift in our family. He says I wrecked the family, but really, he did. I have cried every single day for almost three years. It's getting utterly ridiculous.....
It is safe to say right now that he absolutely values his job more than me. More than the mother of his children. More than his 24 yr marriage to me. More than the person who was with him when his younger brother died years ago, and then his father. Because he is so fearful of losing his job, I think he took it as a personal attack that I was trying to warn him something very bad is happening and that we had to do something. We had to protect our kids. If I was right, he would HAVE to do something and I think he is not courageous enough to do it. It is so completely messed up....it wrecks me daily.
Honestly, I know completely that you are not alone. My hubbs is not medical. He confidently relies on me. He trusts me. I am a former nurse and I still read and rely on the knowledge I attained in 4 years of training and real science
Now, you want to take about the war in Ukraine? we have our differences.
I know you feel betrayed. I am praying for you. Just pray, Kerry. Just be at peace for now. Do not let the actions and differences consume you.
I could write a long boring book about my trials and troubles with extended family over the years. I have been called many ugly names.
That is not even on the topic of this plandemic, it is moreso over care of my 99 year old father and things he asks me to do.
Keep praying and stay in that prayerful zone of peace. We need that.
Yes...thank you so much! It is helpful to know I am not alone....and I do have a some IRL support. It is just not really coming from where I thought it would. People have baggage.....I think he is not a deeply faithful person, as I am, so he does not see the spiritual war we are in, he does not understand my inner knowing/intuition or value it, and he does not see how our faith can and SHOULD help us with our marriage, He has just given up out of fear of losing our "old life" and not knowing what to do. I am a strong and faithful person but that doesn't make it easy. I appreciate your insight. Thanks.
He is embarrassed, that is why he left. He may never be able to apologize. You have to find a way to forgive him and hold on to your own beliefs and values. Your marriage is a microcosm of the world right now.
Isn't it mind bending that he says that I had no empathy for HIM, all bc I kept try trying to warn him, had such a problem with them masking our kids, I did not comply and encouraged them not to, I was begging him not to jab our oldest kid, and after he did that, violating all my values, belief systems and concerns and when I was so heartbroken and anxious, he said I was just so outrageous to be so upset about it all that because I was believing conspiracies, so he had to leave. It was HE that would not listen to how I felt and ignored what I deeply believe. If he HAD listened, I would have been able to live in peace knowing my kid would not be jabbed. Knowing that he cared about how it all made me FEEL. He just could not push back and, more to the point, IF he acknowledged that I was right, he would HAVE to push back and he did not want to have to do that.
Forgiveness IS the only way. Anger has been eating me up....I am beginning to move on. But I feel really sad. And I do not know if he really can see that he did anything wrong...the denial seems to be really, really strong for his own self preservation.
This is heartbreaking Kerry.
I would be shattered without my hubbs
I am so sad for you.
Yes...and he does not even see HOW I can be so shattered. He does not see this as the massive betrayal that it is, saying HIS doctor friends and all "the experts" said it was safe so I'm wrong, and I'm not a "science person", and therefore he did not have to listen to me. I can't get him to grasp that he HAD to listen bc I have been with him for 30 yrs, I am the wonderful mother of his two teenage boys, and that MY BELIEFS, concerns and values MATTER. He clearly wanted out before all this but never said anything or did anything about it. He has almost no ability to talk about how he really feels. And NO ONE we know agrees with me. NO ONE. They ALL drank the Kool Aide. Everyone in our town, our church, our circles, our families. EVERYONE. I have since found some people who agree with me, but he knows none of them. And all my friends side with him. He will not entertain the thought that I could be right. And he says bc I made his life so miserable trying to warn him and get him not to comply, I am disrespectful and so he left. He is SOO afraid of being judged "difficult" by his employer that he would NEVER consider pushing back on a mandate from them to keep his job. NEVER. I could have told you that 10 years ago. He knows he and our sons do not NEED this thing, he just does not want to be fired, cancelled, or have our kids miss out on any opportunities. TO THIS DAY he does not know what is going on and it has caused a MASSIVE rift in our family. He says I wrecked the family, but really, he did. I have cried every single day for almost three years. It's getting utterly ridiculous.....
We here agree with you, see what you see, know what you know, feel what you feel.
It is safe to say right now that he absolutely values his job more than me. More than the mother of his children. More than his 24 yr marriage to me. More than the person who was with him when his younger brother died years ago, and then his father. Because he is so fearful of losing his job, I think he took it as a personal attack that I was trying to warn him something very bad is happening and that we had to do something. We had to protect our kids. If I was right, he would HAVE to do something and I think he is not courageous enough to do it. It is so completely messed up....it wrecks me daily.
I am shocked and heart broken for you.
Honestly, I know completely that you are not alone. My hubbs is not medical. He confidently relies on me. He trusts me. I am a former nurse and I still read and rely on the knowledge I attained in 4 years of training and real science
Now, you want to take about the war in Ukraine? we have our differences.
I know you feel betrayed. I am praying for you. Just pray, Kerry. Just be at peace for now. Do not let the actions and differences consume you.
I could write a long boring book about my trials and troubles with extended family over the years. I have been called many ugly names.
That is not even on the topic of this plandemic, it is moreso over care of my 99 year old father and things he asks me to do.
Keep praying and stay in that prayerful zone of peace. We need that.
Yes...thank you so much! It is helpful to know I am not alone....and I do have a some IRL support. It is just not really coming from where I thought it would. People have baggage.....I think he is not a deeply faithful person, as I am, so he does not see the spiritual war we are in, he does not understand my inner knowing/intuition or value it, and he does not see how our faith can and SHOULD help us with our marriage, He has just given up out of fear of losing our "old life" and not knowing what to do. I am a strong and faithful person but that doesn't make it easy. I appreciate your insight. Thanks.
He is embarrassed, that is why he left. He may never be able to apologize. You have to find a way to forgive him and hold on to your own beliefs and values. Your marriage is a microcosm of the world right now.
Isn't it mind bending that he says that I had no empathy for HIM, all bc I kept try trying to warn him, had such a problem with them masking our kids, I did not comply and encouraged them not to, I was begging him not to jab our oldest kid, and after he did that, violating all my values, belief systems and concerns and when I was so heartbroken and anxious, he said I was just so outrageous to be so upset about it all that because I was believing conspiracies, so he had to leave. It was HE that would not listen to how I felt and ignored what I deeply believe. If he HAD listened, I would have been able to live in peace knowing my kid would not be jabbed. Knowing that he cared about how it all made me FEEL. He just could not push back and, more to the point, IF he acknowledged that I was right, he would HAVE to push back and he did not want to have to do that.
Forgiveness IS the only way. Anger has been eating me up....I am beginning to move on. But I feel really sad. And I do not know if he really can see that he did anything wrong...the denial seems to be really, really strong for his own self preservation.